Before you even start to discussing your relationship and
start blaming each other who’s fault it is , think about what went wrong, you
need to take the time to really think about the gap in your relationship, how
things have changed and what has put the relationship in jeopardy. Take time
and go for a walk or write about what’s bothers you before you speak. This
could be easy answer, there can be one major reason you or your loved one was
unfaithful and that changed the dynamic between you two or maybe your man lost
his job and can’t give you the affection that you need. Maybe also can be that
you are just different people. As I said few times in my life : “Sometimes love
is not enough” that can be the case but in order to try saving your
relationship you should have honest conversation with your significant other.
It’s likely that this has been a problem for quite sometimes so you should find
the right time and place to open up a discussion about your relationship. Let
your partner talk, listen what he/she think that went wrong or is going wrong
and discuss whether you agree or not.
Decide if your relationship is worth fixing. Many
relationship end up for a good reason, and it is time for you to decide if you
even want to fix the relationship before you move forward. Maybe you really
love and care about each other and want things to improve, or maybe there is
too much complication and miscommunications to repair the situation. Decide if
you can see the future with each other. When you think of the future is your
significant other in it? If you can’t see each other in a long term , maybe Is
time to hit the road. This is maybe something you don’t want to hear or admit
it because you think that he/she will change and everything will go back to
normal and you will fell in love again. Wrong. Once is broken and you start
feeling this uncomfortable feeling in your stomach then is time to talk and
decide what’s next. Don’t waste time waiting for him/her to change. People
don’t change, people make compromises and do sacrifices for each other if they
want but they do that because they love and care not because they change for
you.
Decide if you can work in extreme situations and difficult
circumstances.
Make a game plan. It is important to understand that this is
two people process and that you both are committed to making the relationship
last. Once you have both decided that you want to save the relationship, and
then you need to start making plan of moving forward. Decide rather or not you
need to see relationship counselor. This is a great way to let it all out and
be honest to each other and to find out how to make things better. Make time
for working on your relationship. No more excuses such as I had a bad day, work
too hard, have a headache. You need to make “Our time” just for two of you even
if is just for cup of coffee or 10 minutes walking the dog just find this time
just the two of you.
Learn to open up again. Many relationship fails because
couples simply stop sharing their thoughts and
the details of their daily lives. Be honest. Learn to share your fears,
anxiety and insecurity with your loves one again. But don’t forget to share the
positive things in your life too.
Work on compromising. Make big decisions together. If you
want to make things work don’t ever take big decision without talking to your
loved one and listen his/her opinion. Stop fighting. Many relationships fall
apart because couple spend most of the times arguing about stupid things such
as yogurt brand, dusting the table, picking up socks ……Only if you think how
much time and energy we waste for such a things. Don’t yell. Learn to speak calmly
and slow, learn to listen and don’t pick up fights. I went through that and did
it all above but only if I can explain with words how unnecessary all this is.
A lot of times what drives me crazy is the passive-aggressive person. If
something is actually bothers you then speak up instead of keeping it all in.
If you don’t share what’s wrong you will only make things worse. If you think
by being silence will make the conversation easier you are wrong it won’t make
it any easier for you. One advice from me don’t write your feelings on a note
or e-mail, don’t be afraid to avoid real conversation.
Find new things that you can do together a hobby or
something that can both enjoy it. Be romantic and reconnect. Get physical
together go hiking, ride bicycle, watch a movie together and discuss it after.
Take time and go through some old photos you have together, refresh your memory
from the day you met and talk about these days. Plan a trip together. Start
something new.
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